Driving on his way to work one morning, a man goes flying past an Alabama State Trooper hidden behind some trees in the median of the highway. When the trooper pulls him over, he asks,"Where are you going in such a hurry?" The man replies,"work". The trooper then asks,"So what in the world do you do at work that is SO important that you have to drive 40 mph over the speed limit to get there?" John responds,"Well officer, I work for the great state of Alabama, like you. I'm a rectum strecther." Puzzled, the officer asks,"And exactly what does a rectum stretcher do?" The man then goes into great detail describing his job,"Well, first, I take a rectum, then I insert one finger, then two, then three, then a whole fist, then eventually two fists...then I stretch and pull until it is over 6 feet across." Well, the trooper thought he had heard it all, but out of curiosity, he just had to ask,"Now what in the hell does the State of Alabama do with a 6-foot asshole?"The man replies,"They give him a radar gun and a funny hat and park him in the median!" Looool have a great evening :)huggiessss to ya
A tour bus driver drives with a bus full of seniors down a highway, when he is tapped on his shoulder by a little old lady. She offers him a handfull of peanuts, which he gratefully munches up. After approx.15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and she hands him another handful of peanuts. She repeats this gesture about eight times. At the ninth time he asks the little old lady why they do not eat the peanuts themselves, whereupon she replies that it is not possible because of their old teeth, they are not able to chew them."Why do you buy them then?" he asks puzzled. Whereupon the old lady answers,"We just love the chocolate around them."
,Hahaha.. I thought this was too cute not to passaround :)Have a great weekhuggies Debbie
He didn't like the casserole And he didn't like my cake. He said my biscuits were too hard... Not like his mother used to make. I didn't perk the coffee right He didn't like the stew, I didn't mend his socks The way his mother used to do. I pondered for an answer I was looking for a clue. Then I turned around and smacked the shit out of him. Like his mama used to do.
A tour bus driver drives with a bus full of seniors down a highway, when he is tapped on his shoulder by a little old lady. She offers him a handfull of peanuts, which he gratefully munches up. After approx.15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and she hands him another handful of peanuts. She repeats this gesture about eight times. At the ninth time he asks the little old lady why they do not eat the peanuts themselves, whereupon she replies that it is not possible because of their old teeth, they are not able to chew them."Why do you buy them then?" he asks puzzled. Whereupon the old lady answers,"We just love the chocolate around them." 
He didn't like the casserole And he didn't like my cake. He said my biscuits were too hard... Not like his mother used to make. I didn't perk the coffee right He didn't like the stew, I didn't mend his socks The way his mother used to do. I pondered for an answer I was looking for a clue. Then I turned around and smacked the shit out of him. Like his mama used to do.
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