Fight or flight is such an overwhelming response to panic , fear and to catch it before it consummes youis so hard
To conquer the fear the demons within you produce ,to not crumbleas your world implodesis is a war of wills
The will to take the chance and claw back some self control is all I want
I cant help the triggers I have, they wont go away, but if im going to have to live with it, I have to manage it so it doesnt infect my everyday life in the way it has
I cant not have it, I cant erase what happened, its ridicullous that the trauma continues, Im embarressed by my inability and responses but this has been a journey, I never wanted to go on, but i had to
I dont know if ive done enough, if im strong enough ? im going to find out
This has been the most intense fortnight
Im exhausted, i feel broken i dont know how im meant to feel
Im grateful to those of you that have supported me in my darkest times
I have come to realise that the only people i need in my life are the ones who want me in their life, even when i have nothing to offer them but myself