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Anton's blog: "My first blog"

created on 04/01/2007  |  http://fubar.com/my-first-blog/b69932

Disappointments

Greetings, this is my first posting here on this site. I am also on Myspace under passeknight. I wonder as I post this who all will read it, if any. On the other, I have posted some really bad poetry and some ideas and such, but only have a limited number of viewings. About 150 so far. So anyway, this posting is a little dark, a bit down. So if you are not into that, please excuse me and have a great day. If you would know, then feel free to read on. I have lived 37 years and in that time I have done more in my life, than many of those far older than I. I have tried to be a good example for people, always trying to keep my spirit up and helping those who have had difficulties. Now I find myself in a situation where I have few to turn to, little resources, and quite a few difficulties. They say that which doesnt kill you makes you stronger. I guess I will either be a very strong fellow when this is done or I will be the one who is done. I asked some friends of mine that I have known for 15 years for aid. RARELY do I ask for help, because people often are less than willing. Still I have known these for quite some time and they pretty much turned their backs upon me. I had met a pretty lady who seemed to enjoy my company and we got along well. She had many of the same ideas as me and it looked like I could relate to her and she to me, but likewise, she could not spare any time for me, even knowing more of what I was going through. Am I so terrible? I must admit to some confusion, so deal of hurt. Those that I have known so long and one that I thought at least understood and had some consideration for me. I feel torn. I feel broken. The parts in me that make me the person I am in most of my life no longer seem to mesh and I feel lost. I have always been there for my friends and always supported them and now this. Anyway, thank you to those that have read this and perhaps understand. Be safe, be well, and please dont think too harshly of me. With Truth and Honor, Anton Donal Lansberry
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