if i have not spoken to you at length, blatantly you're a stranger. which goes against the very definition of Friend.november 11th, 2005: i was offered a ticket from vancouver, canada, to columbus ohio. i left five hours later without notice for a 3 day bus trip across the continent. when i return to canada is unknown to me. my life is here but the world i'm used to (or belong to, as keith has said) is back there.september 24th, 2006: hopping the bus back to the west coast of canada on this date. also known as the end of the world.i wait until i'm half awake to attempt this 'charming' concept.you know, when my standards are low enough to type at the likes of you.ZING!-----------------------------chances are i do not wish to speak to you and will make no effort to do such.i have the attention span of a goldfish for conversation. catch it before i re-discover the castle and green gravel.i have high standards in people i associate with. "you are the company you keep," after all.i challenge people. i type with my tongue in cheek. flair, panache, razzle-dazzle... you name it, i've got it radiating out the hoo-hah.often leaving a lot of loose ends, i'm horrible in conversation and even worse of a friend. i do not just allow things to slip. i loosen my grip.i over think reasons not to over think.i hate feeling boxed in. i'm flighty. i'm gawky. i'm quiet.i believe "nerd" should be branded on my forehead.i volunteer quite a bit. the needy hurt my heart, truthfully.i think i'm too serious for someone who laughs as much as i do.until very recently i was sexually abstinent in all aspects.i am very unphotogenic, but i am aware of how i appear even at my represented worst and aware the camera flatters. where i lie in person has yet to be determined when facing such extremes.i mother people to absolute death and am very against feminism.i am a very docile person. sometimes monotone and detached.i am a very content person. the beauty of my age rendered me doe-eyed (if even in a very calculated sense) in a relationship. i like to believe i have found someone special. we stand in an untitled grey area, but i have no interest in being with anyone else.i neglect the shift key often as i feel the monotony of my speech is better conveyed without it.sometimes i care, but that's up for debate.i have schizoid behavior radiating out the hoo-hah.i'm awkward. i'm shy. i'm 'stuck-up', so to speak.i am always in search of a good one-liner.i've been told my actions are damn near autistic, and i don't doubt it.i am not an american.i play favourites.i have been told i appear robotic to people outside those select few.i can be quite pedantic. 'overly literal', maybe. observant.i've been playing a game of Show and Tell my whole life. my amusements are simple. word puzzle books (fill-ins and the like) and evenings spent proding tidepools.i feel much like a 60's housewife channeling her angst through tupperware.i have a difficult time with people misreading me when i've analysed my nooks and crannies to such a ridiculous state. i represent myself as best as possible via text to keep that from happening.but, naturally, not everyone reads things properly or in the tone those who know of me in reality see immediately, so, beyond my profile which is a little too precise, i think i only clearly represent myself to strangers through video. my mannerisms 'dumb down' my slightly pompous speech and make my age much more apparent.so when it comes to someone who knows me, i represent myself incredibly accurately, but for strangers i come off maybe more interesting, well-versed, mature or even mysterious than i actually am.i lack depth.i figure, since i spread everything on the table for clear observation, the pile cannot be thick.it must be a thin, rather obtuse and overlapping display area.i find myself playing the damsel in distress every four minutes because i'm absolutely incapable of just about everything and frighten/intimidate easily.i am petrified of hands in the dark. to the point of an actual hysteria unless i'm holding the hand and can track it's movements. sudden movements of any sort paired with things i simply find odd (like, say, an arm viewed from an odd angle) will cause me to irrationally burst into tears. nick likes to punctuate on this often.i honk, snort and hiccup when i laugh. convey my emotions through scrunching my fingers or rubbing my inner palm knuckles on my thighs. refer back to the fact many think i'm autistic.i once cut my tongue on a pudding cup. i believe this was a defining moment of my life.i have been known to have a near heart attack over a wayward fluffle rolling in the draft.two-sided or two-faced. let's go with the latter.Hi, I'm Rachel. I'm self-centered and distant.