i am an extroverted, sunny-natured, bookish, friendly and affectionate girl.. a girl of depths that blaze black as the blackest pits of Hell.. a girl in whom the blood of the great Navigators runs salty, hot and passionate. i am extremely verbal and i love to chat, so don't be afraid to say hello.. but bring your brain with Y/you. intelligent discourse lights me up like a Christmas tree.. vapidity engenders no spark. I have an interest in a wide variety of subjects and my autodidactic nature is such that i can, intelligently and with great pleasure, debate many topics. it is very difficult to cause me to take umbrage.

I am an accomplished chainmaille artisan and have a tiny business weaving and selling adornments. This ancient art brings me immense pleasure and is my favorite creative pastime. I love to learn, i am mind-hungry, i am currently taking welding classes..i love to read, and for pleasure i consistently read at least two books a week.. i read omnivoraciously and many subjects interest me. i love to cook. i come from a family of astounding cooks. i believe it is a passionate and sensual art that should be approached with wild abandon. in my tribe, food is love. and a great pleasure of this earth.. i am a very carnal creature with an unholy love of pleasures of the flesh. i do not do things by half measures.. i believe in transcendent gustatory delights..and in scorching fingers as i burn up the sheets.

my lifestyle is so inseparable from who i am that it is like being right-handed..it just is. i am the rare but not unheard-of creature, the hardwired, the natural slave. a gifted child mentally far older than my chronological age, i awakened to what i am at the age of 8, and for 35 years i have been studying the subject of BDSM, to use the contemporary parlance. i personally am not thrilled with that artificially manufactured acronym, and prefer to use the older terminology of D/s. i have been in the Community and actively practicing in my lifestyle for 30 years. I play way out on the edge. my interest in the subject is infinite, in philosophy, psychology, and practice.

i am a teacher in the lifestyle.. a trainer.. a mentor.. a resource. i am always happy to discuss any topic relating to the lifestyle, with non-judgment, intellect, knowledge, and kindness. in 20 years in both online and realtime milieus, i have brought up and trained more new slaves and submissives than i can remember.. i have mentored many new Masters and Dominants. Chances are, Y/you know someone online whose life i have touched, directly or through the training of those i have trained. if i don't have the answer for Y/you, i will find it, or i will know someone who does know the answer. i will not bluff the answers if i do not possess them. this lifestyle is a journey, not a destination.. H/he or S/she who believes for one moment that all there is to be learned has been learned, has stopped growing. i rejoice that there is always something new to learn in each breaking dawn.. always when i think i can go no deeper inside myself, i am led to new and darker depths to explore.. always when i believe i should start to be jaded, i am awash again in dazzling wonderment of first experiences.

i am extremely adept in the ways of Gor in the online game modality. i am orthodox in this discipline and reject onlinisms. i enjoy the game of it immensely.. but i have a very good grasp of what's reality and what's fantasy. i carry a very high rank as a Gorean slave.. i am First Girl of Turia.. and a Scribe, although i cannot hold the Caste.. with adequate training and studies to serve as Scribe to the major house of a Master or as Scribe of an entire City. I am a skilled dancer in this modality..my serves and positions are literally legendary..and i have trained entire classes of those wishing to learn the ways of planet Gor. I believe that Gor carries lessons for the real world like flecks of gold in common river sand. please do not hesitate to ask questions.. i am always glad to discuss this topic.

Always i am honest to a fault. ask me anything Y/you wish, but here is the disclaimer.. do not ask me a question if Y/you do not wish the honest answer. i do not play simpering Stepford wife. i do not play dumb blonde. I will not dissemble my intellect for the sake of stroking Y/your ego. my mind is not mere decor.. it's Mach 1 high-performance, it's well-oiled and supercharged, and i use it.

my spirits are high and barely tame. my passions blaze white-hot. my tongue is many-bladed. though difficult to rouse, my temper is napalm.

i am both devastatingly ornamental and diabolically functional.

i am a challenge rivaling Everest.

Do Y/you dare to speak so that my gaze lights upon Y/you and Y/you enter my world?

many blessings, fair V/visitor, and safe travels.. ~toy~

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"And even the unhappiest life has its sunny moments and its little flowers of happiness between sand and stone. So it was, then, with the Steppenwolf too. It cannot be denied that he was generally very unhappy; and he could make others unhappy also, that is, when he loved them or they him. For all who got to love him saw always only the one side in him. Many loved him as a refined and clever and interesting man, and were horrified and disappointed when they had come upon the wolf in him. And they had to because Harry wished, as every sentient being does, to be loved as a whole and therefore it was just with those whose love he most valued that he could least of all conceal and belie the wolf. There were those, however, who loved precisely the wolf in him, the free, the savage, the untameable, the dangerous and strong, and these found it peculiarly disappointing and deplorable when suddenly the wild and wicked wolf was also a man, and had hankerings after goodness and refinement, and wanted to hear Mozart, to read poetry and to cherish human ideals. Usually these were the most disappointed and angry of all; and so it was that the Steppenwolf brought his own dual and divided nature into the destinies of others besides himself whenever he came into contact with them." ~ Hermann Hesse, "Steppenwolf" ~

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"I knew I had behaved according exactly to his desires; had he not bought me so that I should do so? I had been tricked into my own betrayal to that illimitable darkness whose source I had been compelled to seek in his absence and, now that I had met that shadowed reality of his that came to life only in the presence of its own atrocities, I must pay the price of my new knowledge. The secret of Pandora's box; but he had given me the box himself, knowing I must learn the secret. I had played a game in which every move was governed by a destiny as oppressive and omnipotent as himself, since that destiny was himself; and I had lost. Lost at that charade of innocence and vice in which he had engaged me. Lost, as the victim loses to the executioner." ~ Angela Carter, "The Bloody Chamber" ~

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"I do not want to be the leader. I refuse to be the leader. I want to live darkly and richly in my femaleness. I want a man lying over me, always over me. His will, his pleasure, his desire, his life, his work, his sexuality the touchstone, the command, my pivot. I don't mind working, holding my ground intellectually, artistically; but as a woman, oh, God, as a woman i want to be dominated. I don't mind being told to stand on my own feet, not to cling, all that I am capable of doing, but I am going to be pursued, fucked, possessed by the will of a male at his time, his bidding." ~Anais Nin~

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"It takes courage to push yourself to places you have never been before...to test your limits...to break through barriers. And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight inside the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." ~Anais Nin~

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"...And sure, truth is in the eye of the beholder. But when it comes to fiction, the writer's only responsibility is to look for the truth inside his own heart. It won't always be the reader's truth, or the critic's truth, but as long as it's the _writer's_ truth -- as long as he or she doesn't truckle, or hold out his or her hat to Fashion -- all is well. For writers who knowingly lie, for those who substitute unbelievable human behavior for the way people really act, I have nothing but contempt. Bad writing is more than a matter of shit syntax and faulty observation; bad writing usually arises from a stubborn refusal to tell stories about what people actually do -- to face the fact, let us say, that murderers sometimes help old ladies cross the street." ~Stephen King, "Full Dark, No Stars" (Afterword)~

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