Off to Vegas!!!

KCCO!

After a long and needed break from this place, I am back

Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?

I was escorted through the dorm by 5 freshman with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.

The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us

You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.

Its not chugging if its just one gulp

All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.

Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.

There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell

I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.

Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.

Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.

I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.

Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs

We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.

I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex, never mind I found pizza just bring sex!

My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.

I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.