I just found an origami porn channel , but it’s paper view only.

I'm in the mood for love-- But I'll settle for bacon !

I'm taking viagra for my sunburn . It doesn't help the burn , But it helps keep the sheet off my legs !

Watching water polo in the Olympics. How long do those poor horses have to hold their breath!?

Watching water polo in the Olympics. How long do those poor horses have to hold their breath!?

Sorry I haven't been on today . Had surgery this morning and am still out of it

Sorry I haven't been on today . Had surgery this morning and am still out of it

When I sit directly across from someone who is using a laptop, I can't stop myself from telling them, "You sunk my battleship!"

I have a fear of speed bumps. But I’m slowly getting over it.

If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?

Hump day isn't much fun when there's no humping involved !

Been a bad day . show some love

Been a bad day . show some love

Bored as hell. Still another 2 weeks before Docs will let me go back to work ! Keep me entertained !

Here’s a Joke for all you Mind Readers out there………………..

I just burned 2,000 calories. That’s the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.

Why don’t blind people like to sky dive ??????? Cause it scares the hell out their dogs !!

My first job ever was working at a calendar factory but I got fired because I took a few days off.

I just sprained me wrist so changing my status from single to its complicated

Out of 11's so you have to settle for 10's