Nothing good on tv bored

I am a happy as a retard in a crayon factory

wife buys crotchless undies to spice up love life. puts them on shows hubby says "want some of this?" "fuck no"says hubby"look what its done 2 your undies

you know it wasn't always called bipolar it once was called being a d!ck

It is impossible to make anything foolproof, because fools are so ingenious.

The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom.

I wish the buck stopped here. I could use a few.

Lead me not into temptation (I can find the way myself).

If all is not lost, where is it?

growing old is unstoppable, growing up is optional:)

The average person has 1000 wishes. A Soldier has but one, to come home safe. I know 97% of you won't post this as your status, but the 3% that do are my friends. In honor of someone that died or is fighting for your freedom, please post.

i fell off the face of the Earth, but i'm back on now...it's all good :)

If you want to get your kids attention, just sit on the couch and look comfortable.