the other day a young person asked me how i felt about being old. i was taken aback, for
i do not think of myself as old. upon seeing my reaction, she was immediately
embarrass­ed, but i explained that it was an interesting question, and i would ponder it,
and let her know.
old age, i decided, is a gift.
i am now, probably for the first time in my life, the person i have always wanted to be.
oh, not my body! i sometime despair over my body, the wrinkles, the baggy eyes, and the
sagging butt. and often i am taken aback by that old person that lives in my mirror (who
looks like my mother!), but i don't agonize over those things for long.


i would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family for less gray
hair or a flatter belly. as i've aged, i've become more kind to myself, and less critical
of myself. i've become my own friend. i don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie,
or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that i didn't need, but
looks so avante garde on my patio. i am entitled to a treat, to be messy, to be
extravagant. i have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon ; before they
understood the great freedom that comes with aging.
whose business is it if i choose to read or play on the computer until 4 am and sleep
until noon?


i will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60&70's, and if i, at the same
time, wish to weep over a lost love ... i will.

i will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive
into the waves with abandon if i choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set.

they, too, will get old.
i know i am sometimes forgetful. but there again, some of life is just as well forgotten.
and i eventually remember the important things.

sure, over the years my heart has been broken. how can your heart not break when you lose
a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when somebody's beloved pet gets hit by a
car? but broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. a
heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being
imperfect.

i am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning gray, and to have my
youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. so many have never
laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver.
as you get older, it is easier to be positive. you care less about what other people
think. i don't question myself anymore. i've even earned the right to be wrong.

so, to answer your question, i like being old. it has set me free. i like the person i
have become. i am not going to live forever, but while i am still here, i will not waste
time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. and i shall eat
dessert every single day. (if i feel like it)
may our friendship never come apart especially when it's straight from the heart! may
you always have a rainbow of smiles on your face and in your heart forever and ever!
friends forever!