SOUTHERN WOMEN



Southern women appreciate their natural assets:

Clean skin.


A winning smile.


That unforgettable Southern drawl.




Southern women know their manners:

'Yes, ma'am.
'

'Yes, sir.
'

'Why, no, Billy!'



Southern women have a distinct way with fond expressions

'Y'all come back!'

'Well, bless your heart.
'

'Drop by when you can.
'

'How's your Momma?'





Southern women know their summer weather report:

Hot, Humid

Hot, Humid

Hot, Humid



Southern women know their vacation spots:

The beach

The rivuh

The crick



Southern women know the joys of June, July, and August:

Colorful hi-heel sandals

Strapless sun dresses

Iced sweet tea with mint



Southern women know everybody's first name:

Honey

Darlin'

Shugah



Southern women know the movies that speak to their hearts:

Fried Green Tomatoes

Driving Miss Daisy

Steel Magnolias

Gone With The Wind



Southern women know their religions:

Baptist

Methodist

Football



Southern women know their country breakfasts:

Red-eye gravy

Grits, Eggs

Country ham

Mouth-watering homemade biscuits with momma's homemade jelly



Southern women know their cities dripping with Southern charm:

Chawl'stn

Meem fis

S'vanah

Foat Wuth

N'awlins

Addlanna



Southern women know their elegant gentlemen:

Men in uniform.


Men in tuxedos

Rhet t Butler



Southern girls know their prime real estate :

The Mall

The Country Club

The Beauty Salon



Southern girls know the 3 deadly sins:

Having bad hair and nails

Having bad manners

Cooking bad food



More Suthen-ism's :

Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissy fit and a conniption fit, a nd that you don't 'HAVE' them, you 'PITCH' them.


_____



Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up 'a mess.
'

_____



Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of 'yonder.
'

_____



Only a Southerner knows exactly how long 'directly' is, as in: 'Going to town, be back directly.
' (correctly pronounced 'drectly')

_____



Even Southern babies know that 'Gimme some sugar' is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.


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All Southerners know exactly when 'by and by' is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.


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Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad.. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin!

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Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between 'right near' and 'a right far piece.' They also know that 'just down the road' can be 1 mile or 20.


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No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.


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A Southerner knows that 'fixin' can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.


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Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines, . . . and when we're 'in line,' We talk to everybody.




Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're related, even if only by marriage.


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In the South, y'all is singular, all y'all is plural.


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Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.


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Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.


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When you hear someone say, 'Well, I caught myself lookin',' you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!

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Only true Southerners say 'sweet tea' and 'sweet milk.' Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened. 'Sweet milk' means you don't want buttermilk.


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And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say,' Bless her heart' ... and go your own way.


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To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your Southerness: Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the morning.
Bless your heart!



_____



And for those that are not from the South but have lived here for a long time, all y'all need a sign to hang on y'alls front porch that reads 'I ain't from the South, but I got here as fast as I could.
'



Southern girls know men ma y come and go, but friends are fahevah !



Now...... Shugah, send this to someone who was raised in the South or wish they had been!



If you're a Northern transplant, Bless your little heart, fake it.


We know you got here as fast as you could....




IN GOD WE TRUST