Let's skip the pleasantries.

If I'm giving you the time of day, I either think you're really hot or really smart. The chances of you being both are about negative one million. And sometimes stupid trumps hot.

I'm not going to give you my number/IM/address/noodz/or anything else. Oh, and I'm not going to cyber with you. I don't want to meet you either, so stay wherever the hell you are, I don't want to have to look for a pig farm on such short notice.

Chances are, if you should be reading this, you're not, because you're an idiot. Please at least be a hot idiot.

If you're stupid, I'm going to make fun of you. If you get off on that, I guess that means we cybered and you win. Good for you.

Yes, I saw that you rated my [insert rateable thing]... thanks! No, I'm not going to rate yours. Because it's stupid. Also you probably wouldn't like it if I rated you honestly, and I feel that giving you a 10 would be patronizing, because, let's face it, who the hell is ever really a 10? Is that really how you want our relationship to start? With lies? I didn't think so.

I'm glad we had this talk. I love you too. Now get the hell off my lawn.