A lady sits down next to a man on a plane. The guy sneezes, takes out his penis, and wipes his penis off. The lady thought maybe it was just a one time thing. About ten minutes later the guy sneezes again and does the same thing. The lady thinks,"If he does it again I'll confront him." Fifteen minutes later he does the same exact thing. So she says to him,"Why do you keep doing that?" He says,"I have a disorder, every time I sneeze I have an orgasm." The lady says,"What are you taking for it?" He says,"PEPPER!"
An Aggie buys several pigs, hoping to breed them for ham, bacon, etc.... After several weeks, he notices that none of the pigs are getting pregnant, and calls a vet for help. The vet tells him that he should try artificial insemination. The Poor old Aggie doesn't have the slightest idea what this means but, not wanting to display his ignorance, only asks the vet how he will know when the pigs are pregnant. The vet tells him that they will stop standing around and will, instead, lay down and wallow in the mud when they are pregnant. The Aggie hangs up and gives it some thought. He comes to the conclusion that artificial insemination means he has to impregnate the pigs. So, he loads the pigs into his truck, drives them out into the woods, has sex with them all, brings them back and goes to bed. Next morning, he wakes and looks out at the pigs. Seeing that they are all still standing around, he concludes that the first try didn't take, and loads them in the truck again. He drives them out to the woods, bangs each pig twice for good measure, brings them back and goes to bed. Next morning, he wakes to find the pigs still just standing around. One more try, he tells himself, and proceeds to load them up and drive them out to the woods. He spends all day shagging the pigs and, upon returning home, falls listlessly into bed. The next morning, he cannot even raise himself from the bed to look at the pigs. He asks his wife to look out and tell him if the pigs are laying in the mud."No," she says,"they're all in the truck and one of them's honking the horn."
Happy Birthday 
