Ok, I keep getting asked to add to my profile, tell a little about myself. So here's my story.
"THE STORY OF CBG"
-written Autobiography By(duh)C. BamaGuy
When I was young, all I thought about was having a perfect girlfriend. So at 15 I dated the prettiest girl in my school, but she flirted with all the boys and made me so jealous, I had to break it off.
Then at 16 I found a girl who thought only of me. In fact, she was so obsessed with me that I could not even go to the bathroom without her standing by the door, asking me if everything was ok. I quietly slipped away from her.
By 17 I was so horny I could no longer stand it and found a girl who was crazy about having sex. After applying the burning salve from the doctor and taking a round of very strong antibiotics, I grew out of this fascination.
After graduating at 18, I needed direction in life, so I found an older girl. But, at her age of 39, she reminded me too much of my Mother, telling me stories of when she was my age and what I had to look forward to in life: hemorroids, eventual unemployment, insomnia and weight gain. I told her I had to go home now.
At 19 I wanted to party, so I found a wild girl with tattoos and piercings, but she always smelled of smoke and alcohol, was not very clean or organized, had laundry and old food all over her house. A rather large man on a motorcycle made me leave and told me never to come back again. I took his advice gladly.
By 20 I wanted a sensitive girl, but she was such a drama queen that I could never stop her from crying and asking me about my feelings. I had to get away from her.
Going opposite at 21, I found an insensitive take-charge kind of girl, but she was too bossy, always yelling, calling me names and throwing things through the air. I had to bail.
So, at 22 I decided on a much quieter and reliant girl, but she could not be naked in front of a boy, slept with the covers pulled tight to her neck, never used the bathroom and in general, was boring! All we ever did was eat, watch movies and walk around the block. We never talked or went anywhere exciting and she was also a lousy kisser, so I broke it off after gaining 35 pounds.
By 23 I lost the weight and found a sparky self-reliant girl, but she had no time for me. She was always busy with something else and could never get together. She later moved away to Dallas and told me about it six months after she was settled in there, wondering if I would move there too, just not in the same house with her. I told her thanks, but by that time I had already found a new adventure.
At 24 I met a REALLY free spirited girl who actually loved being with me. But, she could not hold a job, got me fired from mine, spent all our loan money on expensive vacations and then later told me she had finally found her true soul mate.......Jenny.
By 25 I was now ready to settle down, I knew exactly what I wanted in a girl. I wanted a focused girl with a good head on her shoulders. Someone who knew exactly what she wanted in life, was responsible, directed, good with money and resourceful. Luckily I did.
In fact, she was so financially resourceful she later divorced me and took all the furniture, the truck, half my pension, alimony AND left me with quite a bit of debt.
I am now 31 and looking for a young professional woman with extremely big boobs....
