And this is why parents drink!!!!!!!


A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see that his
bed was
nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope,
propped up
prominently on the pillow that was addressed to "Dad." With the worst
premonition he opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the
letter.

Dear Dad:

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope
with my
new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with mom and you. I
have been
finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice. But I knew you
would not
approve of her because of all her piercing, tattoos, tight motorcycle
clothes
and the fact that she is much older than I am. But it's not only the
passion...

Dad she's pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a
trailer
in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter.We share
a dream
of having many more children. Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that
marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone.

We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people
that
live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy. In the meantime we will pray that
science
will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better. She deserves it.

Don't worry Dad. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself. Someday
I'm sure
that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your
grandchildren.

Love, Your Son John



PS. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just
wanted to
remind you that there are worse things in life than the report card
that's in
my center desk drawer.

I love you. Call me when it's safe to come home.