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WOMEN'S REVENGE "Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse. "So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked. "No," she replied, " but my husband refused to come shopping with me, and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally." UNDERSTANDING WOMEN (A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE) I know I'm not going to understand women. I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider. MARRIAGE SEMINAR While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication, Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor, "It is essential that husbands and wives know each other's likes and dislikes." He addressed the man, "Can you name your wife's favorite flower?" Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, "It's Pillsbury, isn't it? WIFE VS. HUSBAND A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?" "Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws." W O R D S A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men... The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?" CREATION A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time. " The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you! WHO DOES WHAT A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning. The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee." The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee." Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee." Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me." So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says.........."HEBREWS" The Silent Treatment A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up." Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests. W OMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFASTShe's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee. Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box. Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week. Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl. And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.

some mine, some not

Friendship ~~~~~~~~~~ A friend walks in when the world walks out, A friend stands by, when the going gets tough, A friend knows when you are hurt A friend wants to help you get through A friend is a shoulder to cry on A friend is always there for you A friend like you..... Brings out, the friend in me! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Please Don't Quit ~~~~~~~~~~~ When things go wrong, as they sometimes will, When the road your trudging seems all uphill, When the funs are low, and the debts are high, And you want to smile, but you have to sigh, When care is pressing you down a bit, Rest if you must, but you must not quit. Life is strange with its twists and turns, As everyone of us sometimes learns, And many a failure turns about, When he might have won, had he stuck it out; Don't give up though the pace seems slow, You may succeed with another blow. Success is failure turned inside out, The silver tint of the clouds of doubt, And you can never tell how close you are, It may be near, when it seems so far; So stick to the fight when your hardest hit, It's when things seem their worst, That you must not quit! _____________________ Love ~~~~ A love like ours, is so hard to find A once in a lifetime chance that truly abides All other thoughts, all other fears, It overrides it all, even through the tears; For a love like ours, so strong and true, No other love compares, so we feel, How could anyone else know, This love, how right it feels; I love you darling, with my whole, my heart, my mind, my soul... To you it belongs, to you it will stay Forever in our hearts, our love, we pray. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A prayer for you ~~~~~~~~~ Dear God, (I asked today) To watch over you, to guide you, To keep you safe from harm... I know your going through some hardtimes, and though i may not be there to see I can feel it in your voice, when you talk to me... So i pray today, that God would look down, See your anguish and your frown, wipe it away, let his presence be known, and make a smile, out of that frown.... For as he loves you so do i, and I pray, that my prayer helps you get by. Just stay strong, the hardtimes will pass, but i am always here for you, That this pain, will surely pass. Just know my thoughts are always with you!

a bunch of poems

Adrian (3/23/1992 - 7/17/1998) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ You were a beautiful flower, Just starting to bloom… But your time here was near, Why didn’t we see the doom. To hear the cries, Made it hard to swallow, To see you lying there, Made my heart go hollow… To see my baby, That just turned six, Her blonde hair streaked red, Her life gone I couldn’t fix… So I sit here and cry Wishing that you could see Wanting, waiting, Wishing you’d come back to me. But I know your in heaven, Looking and smiling down.. Watching over us, In your beautiful white gown.. I hold onto your memory, Though as time goes by, I dream and wait, To hold you again close by. By Becky L. I walk alone I walk alone, afraid to see... the future, for the past, frightens me.. I see the gray I see the hurt but why don't anyone see me lying in the dirt trying to hide my feelings showing why can't they be wiped away just like rain falling. So i walk alone hoping to find someone to take me away someone to be mine.... Becky L. My Love, My Life, My Friend..... _____________________________________ By Becky L. Of all the people in my life from beginning to the end, You've been a special blessing, My love, my life, my friend..... You've filled my life with laughter, shared my sorrows, joys and tears.. You've stood by me throughout the years.. My love, my life, my friend... When I've needed someone to listen, I know you will always be there... When I weathered the storms of life, You were always the one who cared.... My love, my life, my friend.... So in this circle that we call life, from the beginning to the end, I am blessed to have you beside me, My love, my life, my friend. I love you all!! *kisses* By Becky L.

When you thought.....

When You Thought I Wasn't Looking by a Child When you thought i wasn't looking, I saw you hang my first painting on the fridge, and i immediately wanted to paint another one..... When you thought i wasn't looking, i saw you feed a stray cat, and i learned that it was good to be kind to animals.... When you thought i wasn't looking, i saw you make my favorite cake for me, and i learned little things can be special things in too... When you thought i wasn't looking, i heard you say a prayer, and i knew there is a God i could always talk to and I learned to trust in God.... When you thought i wasn't looking, i saw you make a meal and take it to a friend who was sick, and i learned that we all have to help take care of each other.... When you thought i wasn't looking, i saw you give of your time and money to help people who had nothing, and i learned that those who have something should give to those that don't.... When you thought i wasn't looking, i felt you kiss me goodnight, and i felt loved and safe.... When you thought i wasn't looking, i saw you take care of our house and everyone in it and i learned we have to take care of what we are given... When you thought i wasn't looking, i saw how you handled responsiblities, even when you didn't feel good, and i learned that i would have to be responsible when i grew up.... When you thought i wasn't looking, i saw tears come from your eyes and i learned that sometimes things hurt, but its alright to cry... When you thought i wasn't looking, i saw that you cared and i wanted to be everything that i could be..... When you thought i wasn't looking, i learned most of life's lessons that i needed to know to be a good and productive person when i grew up..... When you thought i wasn't looking, i looked at you and wanted to say, "Thanks for all the things i saw when you thought i wasn't looking". (Each of us, parent, or a friend, influence the life of a child. Let us remember to always act as though our children are watching, even when we think that they are not!)
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