Who is this Ryan Effin Ely?

I've got 22 years of trickiness and creativity under my belt. And... according to a questionnaire which I took while sitting in a class I didn't belong in, I have a 75% social desirability. Maybe I should focus my educational aspirations on a psych major so I can sit around all day and answer true / false tests to find out how desirable I am?

What's there to say? Stuck between a rock and a hard place. Literally. I'm that back country hiker who didn't bother to heed the warning signs that read Park Closed: Hungry Wild Ass-Bears Seen Mauling Hikers. I went ahead and ignored the signs, ran into a beastly bear, fell into a Batman lair-like cave as I tried to outrun the bastard, and got myself wedged between hell and a giant boulder. So I have a little extra baggage I have to carry around. The emotional kind. Who doesn't have any of that? The question is where's the lost & found when you need it?

I want to meet someone to pick the bones out of my fish. I hate getting pricked by those damn things during dinner. I also want to meet someone who can tell the difference between Haribo and Black Forest gummi bears based on taste alone. They're not the same dammit!

Sometimes what you're looking for is staring right back at you.

"Practice safe lunch....use a condiment"