okay I think that Im only writing this to have myself read it later and try to feel better about things!! I mean this year has been so hard and I cant belive that Im still standing here strong enough to talk about it!! And even though I feel like Im alone I know Im not...... But I had to move on for myself! There was just this reminder of all that went bad when I looked into his eyes and it killed me everyday!! And I thought to myself how can I move on with this brick wall in my way?? So I did the one thing that hurt me the most- I tore the wall down!! And even though I feel like Ill never be happy again I know after all the hurt, pain and tears Ill get better! Cause I didnt want to wake up one day and relize all this time was wasted...... I just hope one day he'll know what I mean........