Bigdaddyho's blog: "What I have done"

What I have done I have hurt the most important people in my life I have destroyed my relationship with my beautiful loving wife I have embarrassed her humiliated her abused her and then turn around and try to show her that I loved her I have been the worst person that anybody has ever known I have done things that would make the devil blush I have made my life and everybody around me a living hell I have done these things I have lied to people I have stay drunk for weeks at a time I have been the worst human in this world I have now realized exactly what I’ve done I have made decisions in my life now to be a better person to be a better man I have quit drinking I have been able to look in the mirror and see the person that I used to be and see the person that I’m going to be I’m not there yet but I will get there because I promised you I will Become a better man for myself not nobody else I have said I was sorry I thousand times but I have not ever apologized to you until today I apologize for everything I’ve put you through I now this will not help but I have to say it out loud so I can hear it I'M NOT PROUD OF WHAT I HAVE DONE I am ASHAME