Ok.So Fubar I guess would be the outcast side of me.So why not admit to the feelings I hide from my betty crocker well wishers.I am married.I have 4 beautiful children.And in a boring, risk free world, I love my husband.But like anyone else, I crave chaos.Totally unsure if I could actually handle it or not.I use to have that.I remember those days and I recall that back then I yearned for these days.Kind of like wishing for winter in summer and summer in winter.But if I could live in a perfect world, I would walk through life with no social security number and no birth certificate.No verification of who I am.Then I could be whoever I wanted to be.I know I am not the only one to feel this way.But every single day I wake up wanting the same thing.Amnesia, blue eyes, and Marlboro Menthol lights.