I think Im actually quite shy and boring. I dont come across that way but I think I am, I get uncomfortable in social situations and I think thats cos Im very self conscious and that I'd make an ass outta myself or something, I just smile my way thru a lot of it or ignore it. People always take me the wrong way, but Im not doing 'whatever it is' on purpose. I try to be me but what is interpreted is something else that people dont like or dont understand. It perplexes me that I never portray a picture of myself to the full extent, Im not what people expect which in their mind is either a surprise or a let down. My motivation is nothing and everything. And its so hard to create, so much gets me down and there is so much that makes me happy, I feel there is no balance, there's no ying to my yang or something like that. Im so unsure that Im not sure what Im saying is entirely what I feel....I do know that I want canvas/paper and some ink. Yeah thats what I want and a big room with plenty of light and warmth. Yep. I dont think thats a lot to ask for....